My beautiful daughter, who is only 12, got sent to the office today for skipping class. Not just any class, but her favorite class, favorite teacher. WHAT ON EARTH??
So, the school also took her cell phone away, which I would have done anyway, but now I have to pay $15 to get it back! Seriously? Pay them money to get something that belongs to me back???
These kids are gonna drive me crazy yet!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Just barely hanging on :)
I am so ready to have my license in hand and get back to work! Sitting here all day is making me crazy, and if I don't have it in hand by this weekend I may not get to work next week. That will SUCK!
Kids are doing good. Kat had open house tonight. All good reports. Boo has somewhat adjusted his attitude so I gave him all his things back...hope it lasts.
Going to start working on Calculus review (YUCK!) so I can be ready for college calculus II in the Fall. OH YEAH...my appointment with UTD Pre-Dental advisor is on Monday if I am not working....so excited!
Kids are doing good. Kat had open house tonight. All good reports. Boo has somewhat adjusted his attitude so I gave him all his things back...hope it lasts.
Going to start working on Calculus review (YUCK!) so I can be ready for college calculus II in the Fall. OH YEAH...my appointment with UTD Pre-Dental advisor is on Monday if I am not working....so excited!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Another day...another day closer to a dollar!!! :)
I got a phone call from the TSBDE today, and I will have my license back within a few days! Called the temp agency and I will be working all next week. So so super excited! I haven't worked for my "own" money in 3 years!
My baby girl had tubes put in her ears today. I say baby, she is 12 years old. All went well, she is perfect and we enjoyed the day with her.
And last, on a more personal note about me. I absolutely LOVE the feeling of crawling in bed at night, and just having him snuggle up behind me and hold me with his arms around me. Makes me feel safe, and like nothing in the world could be wrong. I love him so much in those moments, and I am so content, I wonder where the unhappiness from the day before comes from? Or for that matter, where the unhappiness went so quickly?
I am hoping that voicing my feelings everyday, and keeping a record of highs and lows will lend me some insight on my crazy life!
My baby girl had tubes put in her ears today. I say baby, she is 12 years old. All went well, she is perfect and we enjoyed the day with her.
And last, on a more personal note about me. I absolutely LOVE the feeling of crawling in bed at night, and just having him snuggle up behind me and hold me with his arms around me. Makes me feel safe, and like nothing in the world could be wrong. I love him so much in those moments, and I am so content, I wonder where the unhappiness from the day before comes from? Or for that matter, where the unhappiness went so quickly?
I am hoping that voicing my feelings everyday, and keeping a record of highs and lows will lend me some insight on my crazy life!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Embittered Pessimist with Fears of Abandonment :(
My official diagnosis, it would seem, was more words that anyone cared to remember or recite. An embittered pessimist with fears of abandonment. Stemming from abandonment by my bilogical father? Who knows really? My friends and I shortened it to "Bitter Bitch", laughed about it, and I never gave it a second thought. All the hours and dollars spent at the psychologist and psychiatrist never helped anyway.
Within a year of that diagnosis, I was the one leaving. So much for fearing abandonment. I left. I chose to "go it alone."
Fast forward about 7 years, and I am the one to leave again. The reasons don't matter. The reality does. Do I leave to avoid being abandoned?
So now, back at it again. One last second chance to make this work and I suddenly see it. I truly don't want to be alone. But it seems I am doing my best to end up that way.
When there is any sort of confrontation, my walls instantly go up. I shut down and basically say "You want to leave, go ahead, I got this. I can take care of myself." The last thing I want is for him to actually go, but the first thing I do is push him away.
So why is it that I seem to strive for the very thing I am supposed to be afraid of?
Within a year of that diagnosis, I was the one leaving. So much for fearing abandonment. I left. I chose to "go it alone."
Fast forward about 7 years, and I am the one to leave again. The reasons don't matter. The reality does. Do I leave to avoid being abandoned?
So now, back at it again. One last second chance to make this work and I suddenly see it. I truly don't want to be alone. But it seems I am doing my best to end up that way.
When there is any sort of confrontation, my walls instantly go up. I shut down and basically say "You want to leave, go ahead, I got this. I can take care of myself." The last thing I want is for him to actually go, but the first thing I do is push him away.
So why is it that I seem to strive for the very thing I am supposed to be afraid of?
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